Well its been a day of gettin things off my chest, victim of incest i was a victim myself and never delt with it until now at 50, so I've hard life from around 5 or 6 years of age noone belived a little girl, not enough paper to tell my story, 20 yrs with husband who cheated, divorced then married a man who Abused me to the point of driving me to suiside but lived thru and went to rehab, Then relized My friend of many years Steven was my heart and soul he stood by me only as friend at first then that developed and have been happily married for 5 yrs may 21, 2010 Part of my Therapy is to get me a car after not havin one for 5 yrs no money to do so i get 617. disability month my hubby make minimum wage at furniture store buyin food is diffacult,i've worked all my life manual labor in Maine since i was 10yrs old had help raise younger sisblins I have 3 beautiful daughters and 7 grandchildren who want me to stick around here so they stood once by bedside prayin i make it thru my attemp and i want them to know MOMMY is trying my girls Melva28,Neomi29,Jodianne31 I love you here goes final step of therpy get me a Vehicle Thank You All For readin about Me I am so bewilderd by the compassion on this Charity for the less forunate people I sit wondering how I'll get to my appointments so i keep make progress in my Healin and i say to MYSELF it will all come togather if you reach OUT! TY TY TY for your votes it really is my life ever been beat with wire coat hanger i have it came out in my therapy today 6/22/10 ever been without food i have was put in Hospital because of it Yeah thats some more of my life In Maine poorest county here 6/28/10 NOW I understand why God returned me back to Earth My Hubby, Girls, grandbabies need me and I need them they are my life TY FOR MAKING MY 50 B-Day so special no money but all the handmade cards Wild Flowers and time spent to make me happy I'll never forget LOVE to ALL my FRIENDS Here at FCC TY 4 votes while i was away celebrating with family and friends XXOO I now UNDERSTAND Y God left me here 4 MY HUBBY:::: UPDATE JULY 5th where have i been for last 10 yrs I had such FUN this weekend with my hubby and friends and Family God only knows how much I love them and my Family i love U so muchJUfor last 5 yrs have been on meds from zoloft wellbutrine prozac xanax risperdole and more they had me on Well for last yr and it was a yr on July 8th i had been going to diff therpist she tracked my up and downs and discovered that my meds seemed to alter my moods and not in good way so i went off everything on my own in Jan this yr and have managed to to well on just my therapy of vit B12 my body does not absorbed due to a stomach surgery back 26 yrs ago also discovered VitD wasn't reading at any level blood work so we started doing research and dicovered that these two are very important for good mental health so i've been doing pretty good but there are those days and you are right DRAMA and Family have cause most of my downfalls in depression so i have wiped as much as i can out of my life but how do u turn your back on a Mother who right to this day blames me ihave JUST come to tearms with it that she will never understand what my childhood did to me I went to my grandsons birthday party Sat and while there my other grandson kept running in street his mom tried so hard but at 2 he is fast well i lost it cause all that i could see in my mind was my little brother 8 years my junior being hit by car when he was that age he was in my care at 9yrs old and broke free from me run in front of car and was thrown over hood laanding to side of road but noone knew this or why i was so upset sat now after being here yesterday my daughter neomi understands they nevere knew about their uncle Norman being hit by car when he little so stuff still coming out when it flashes back its so hurtful not only to me but to all around me cause they don't understand sorry but thought it would help if you knew little history about me at 44 i tried to commit suiside and almost got it right but one of girls called me and could tell something was wrong with me so from there i dont remember much other then waking up in ICU with burn marks to my chest and seeing my daughters in so much pain So whenever i hear a child in pain my Heart rips wide open and bleeds wishing i could take the pain away for them so later in life the torment dosen't pain them like I've been Pained JULY13th